You Know What Sh!ts Me?: Facebook Laundromats

You know what really shits me?

Today’s topic: Facebook laundromats… in other words, people who constantly put their dirty laundry on Facebook.

When Facebook politely asks you in that little clever box at the top of your newsfeed “What’s on your mind?”, they don’t really want to know what’s on your mind. It is not an invitation to delve deep into your inner psyche and let it all out for the whole world and their pets to find out.

No one cares about your dirty laundry. Not this chick. She's reading a book. (SOURCE: Gideon's Flickr photostream)

No one cares about your dirty laundry. Not this chick. She’s reading a book. (SOURCE: Gideon’s Flickr photostream)

Some people have trouble differentiating between what is appropriate to post on Facebook and what isn’t appropriate… and uploading a status talking about how your boyfriend left you and you wish nothing but death upon him is actually very inappropriate. But who cares? Whatever works, right?

WRONG.

What you are doing is creating unnecessary drama by putting your personal problems out there for everyone to see. What you are doing is giving people more ammunition to use against you in case the opportunity ever arise. What you are doing is making a complete fool of yourself by turning to social media for sympathy when your best friend is just a simple phone call away.

My philosophy on this is simple: if you are my friend, I care about you. If you have a problem, I will do my best to help you with your problem. If you post this problem on Facebook and expect sympathy from me, stop wasting your time because zero fucks are given about your issue when you’re waving it around on social media.

You know the saying (however it goes)… “people don’t care about your problems, they just want to know what’s going on.” It applies to this very case. What you may think is a very cryptic status could very well paint a larger picture than you intended. “Feels alone :(” could easily translate into “My girlfriend won’t spend time with me because I’m an arsehole and now I regret it.” Your attempt at being incognito failed. Maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all, huh?

What shits me even more is when these people who air their dirty laundry for the world to see are confused as to why people think it’s okay to involve themselves into their drama. I don’t know, whose fault is it – the idiot who made it publicly viewable for everyone to see and therefore have an opinion on, or Barney the dinosaurs? Definitely not Barney. If you don’t want people to involve themselves in your personal drama, DON’T INVOLVE THEM BY PUTTING IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. It’s really quite simple, actually.

If you have problems like I’m sure everyone does, seek out help personally. Even if we live in the digital age, driving to your mate’s place or calling your mum late at night to help you has not gone out of fashion. In fact, I’m sue you could resolve a problem easier that way than asking however many Facebook friends you have for advice because they won’t care… they’ll just want to know what’s going on.

So, everyone on Facebook, I have five words for you that should have a long-lasting effect on you: think about what you post.

– by Noah La’ulu

The Selfie Craze

Taking a good old selfie… whether you are in the bathroom, just finished putting your face on for a night out or just got through the gym doors and taking a pic of the great progress on your body you have achieved in that whole 3 minutes, you just can’t run away from a selfie. We are all guilty of taking one every once in a while. It’s like a disease… you take a picture, post it online, get a few likes and think “Oh wow, I do look great in this pic” and then the craze starts. Where did it all begin? Can you remember life before selfies? Where did the term ‘selfie’ even come from?

The only time you will see a Bieber selfie on this site.

The only time you will see a Bieber selfie on this site.

Well surprise, surprise… we all would have thought it was a hot young cracker of a female getting ready for a night out in town but we have all been fooled. The earliest recorded usage of the word selfie has been tracked to 2002, where it appeared on an Australian internet forum (ABC Online):

Um, drunk at a mates 21st, I tripped over [sic] and landed lip first (with front teeth coming a very close second) on a set of steps. I had a hole about 1cm long right through my bottom lip. And sorry about the focus, it was a selfie.

So there it is! The first recorded use of the term selfie was some drunken Aussie sharing an alcohol initiated wound online. Who would have thought! We can thank this guy for starting the biggest online phone sharing craze that has hit the modern world. What is the selfie doing to society? This hot topic was discussed in one of my media tutorials at uni which I found very interesting. What are the effects of the selfie craze on the younger generation? It led to a debate about the positives and the negatives of a selfie and below is what was discussed.

Positives of a Selfie:

- It boosts a person’s self esteem when they are recognized for their beauty, talent, results, hard work etc.

- It allows an individual to share life experiences with friend and family online by showing they are apart of it.

- It builds awareness e.g. the good old charity selfie where an individual takes a photo of themselves participating in a charity event.

Negatives of a Selfie:

-  It creates blows to self-esteem when individuals are bullied, harassed or teased on their photos.

- It makes the younger generation vulnerable to the judgement of others and less acceptable of themselves.

- It leads to the following of bad role models and sharing of inappropriate photos online.

- It pulls a very young generation into the online world early on making them vulnerable to its dangers.

So as you can see, very unexpected results even though selfies can have a few positive effects on individuals. It was an interesting debate and a whole lot of ideas were raised about the selfie craze and its effect on the younger generation of internet users. Have a think about what your selfies mean to you: why do you take a selfie? Is it to share with your friends an experience or a photo which you love or is it to fish for some compliments on the outfit you chose to wear last night?

One thing that I realized is that as soon as I post a selfie it’s like a ticking time bomb. I nervously sit around and check my notifications about every 5 minutes to see if at least one person has liked the photo. I have a friend who stated “Once you get over 15 likes that’s when you know it’s a good photo.” I mean really? 15 likes, is that the bar which we have set for whether your photo is hot enough or not? What happens if you get 14? Is it time to pop on a face mask and work on your styling skills? The discussion could go on and on but let’s end on a funny note. There are the oh-so-common selfies which are so recognizable. The standard poses, locations and captions which are used. So let’s look at the most popular kind of selfies which are around:

1. The OOTD Selfie

- This is where you show off your taste in fashion, makeup skills and how banging you think your body looks in that outfit today/tonight.

2. The Nightlife Selfie

- The pout comes out and the caption is usually something along the lines of “Ready for a good night out !!” (lots of exclamation marks and also may include a drink in your hand).

3. The Just-woke-up Selfie

- You woke up, ran into the bathroom, fixed yourself up, perfectly placed your hair around your face on your pillow and took a photo of how great you look when you “just” woke up. NEVER forgetting a #nofilter hashtag!

4. The Gym Selfie

- Now this one is varied. It could be just of your face lying on the bench press or it could be a full body shot of you in the squat rack or weights section mirror. This one is almost always showing a little tensing of the biceps or your soon to come abs, though make sure it looks like you at least have one little sweat drop on your forehead to look like you have done at least one rep.

5. The Smile Selfie

- Now this one is customized to fit a range of captions. It is just a plain straight photo of your face smiling wildly for reasons to be explained in the caption field. It may be “Just got the job!”, “Happy birthday to me!”, “My boyfriend makes me happy!”, “Just smile because you are amazing!” (this one is a sort of ‘I look great but let’s give that a try to look like I’m complimenting my friends as well’).

6. The Body Selfie

- This is almost 99% of the time in a bikini or shirt-less for the guys. It’s a way to say “My body looks banging though my face right now… not so much.”

7. The Cheeky Selfie

- This is one of my most entertaining ones. It is when you post a silly selfie of you with your tongue out, or with your pearly whites showing like grills (this is sort of a bad-ass angle), knowing you look really cute and amazing though hash-tagging #bored #ugly #needmoresleep #imsostupid … It’s a way of promoting yourself as thinking you look horrid though making all of your friends jealous because you still look hot whilst pulling a silly face!

So those are my most obvious pics for the most popular selfies around! So now walk away, have a laugh at your news feed and also think about which category you are falling under next time you press that upload button!

– by Nikolina Koevska